i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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