it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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