i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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