Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
