Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
