I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
