I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
