We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
