So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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