Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize