i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
