My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize