I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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