How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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