I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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