I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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