the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
