I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
