You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
