garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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