Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
