some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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