I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
