don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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