wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize