I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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