is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
