I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize