I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
