i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
