when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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