Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
