U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
