"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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