Don't you send me to vm
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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