My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
