I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
