Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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