he wants to bone in the snuggie
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
