my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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