Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize