Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
