I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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