while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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