we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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