I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
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