And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think your dad took our porno
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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