I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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