I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
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We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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