And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
