break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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