I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
