And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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