I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
