Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
