I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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