If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
