oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize