so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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