Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
