i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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