why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
